Amalgamated Smike
Amalgamated Smike Corporation of Eudapimp, ID

Wine O' The Week Club
Under The West Stairs
Union Station
Denver, Colorado 80217

January 5, 1990

Mr. Zuba G. S. Mudgett
xxx U. S. Highway 195
Apartment xxx
Palm Harbor, Florida 34684

Dear Valued Customer,

Congratulations on your good taste! This week's special
selection is guaranteed to take a singular position in
your private wine cellar. A fine California white wine,
Thunderbird is indeed The American Classic.

True connoisseurs have coveted the 1989 Concord Grape
varieties for their sudden bouquets and spirituous yields,
a full 13.9 per-cent in this case. The nose of this
particular vintage offers a fruity, flowery, grapey
purfume not unlike Glade's Lilac Valley air-freshener.
But why not? This is one of the best-selling wines
from California's infamous Stanislaus County vineyards.
Sun-tweeked near Modesto's famed Tuolumne River feed-lots,
this vintage exudes the aura of a truly haughty wine.

Serving Suggestions:

    Best served chilled, but not so cold as to make your
    tongue stick to the glass. Should facilities for
    chilling be unavailable, employ the handy brown
    paper cooler enclosed with your order.

    For every wine there is the proper glass from which to
    drink; for Thunderbird there is the bottle. Place
    the opening of the bottle to the lips and incline,
    gently, to 180 degrees. Chug with as little noise
    as possible under the given circumstances.

    Eruct from the diaphragm with hearty enunciation of
    the vowels. And sometimes 'Y'.

    Aging is an important part of of wine appreciation. Try
    not to let this one go more than a couple of months.

Thank you for your patronage! I'm sure you will enjoy
this week's fine selection.


Fred 'Fuzzy' Botulism

P.S.: Owing to FTC, FDA and Postal Authority rulings,
we will issue credits to customers who ordered
the Sterno Holiday Gift Sets. We regret any